


dear old friend, take me for a spin

by hellodeer



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:39:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5755768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellodeer/pseuds/hellodeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Tajima always, always sees right through him)</p>
            </blockquote>





	dear old friend, take me for a spin

I like him  
and want to be like him, my hands no longer an afterthought.

—Richard Siken, Little Beast

Tajima grabs the bat with his left hand first. Hanai notices this during their game against Senda, fourth inning. Left hand, then right, and each time the bat connects, each time Tajima brings them closer to a win.

They still lose.

After that, Hanai is the first one to arrive to morning practices, leaving his house when it’s still night, the wheels of his bike the only sound for many streets. With the sun barely peeking out over the horizon, he steps into the field, grass crunching under his shoes.

He grabs the bat with his left hand first, then his right. He tries to make it connect.

*

One day, Mihashi laughs quietly with Tajima while they’re changing into their uniforms and says “That’s so cool, Yuu-kun!”

For a bizarre moment, Hanai wonders who he’s talking to. Then Abe pokes his head into the room, grunting “Ren, stop joking around and come practice,” and _ah_.

Mihashi fumbles out a “Yes!” and runs to the door, where Abe receives him with a flick on the forehead and a smile. They both look happy and shy, and it hits Hanai like a huge, cold wave, and he gets it, finally: the reason this battery has been getting weirder and weirder is because they have been slowly, painfully, getting _closer_.

“Wow,” he says to himself, looking at their retreating backs with something hot burning in his stomach.

So Mihashi is Ren and Abe is Takaya, Tajima is Yuu or Yuu-kun, and even Izumi is Kou or Kou-kun.

Hanai watches them talk to each other, laugh with each other, make faces at each other. Envy curls around his heart, heavy and ugly, and he immediately feels bad about it.

He doesn’t ask, though. He waves goodbye when they leave, the four of them together, and he stays behind.

He grabs a bat, sets the machine to regurgitate balls every thirty seconds.

That day, the bat doesn’t connect at all.

*

They’re leaving, the four of them together again, and Hanai stares at the back of their heads until—

Tajima turns around and catches him looking.

Hanai averts his gaze, his face hot.

He spends the whole next day looking over his shoulders and around corners, pretending he’s very busy whenever Tajima is around. He manages fine until practice is over, when he sees, out of the corner of his eyes, Tajima jogging to him.

Hanai panics, just a little, because Tajima is going to _ask_ and he’s going to have to explain that he’s jealous and petty, and if he tried to lie Tajima would see right through him.

(Tajima always, always sees right through him)

“Hey,” Tajima says instead. “Wanna come to my house?”

Hanai opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, no sound coming out. Eventually he manages to stutter a _yes_ out, and Tajima grins.

Hanai’s heart does a somersault.

So he goes. They decide, since Hanai is there, that he should practice his pitching and Tajima his catching, since they haven’t been doing that much.

It’s fun with just the five of them. More relaxing than regular practice, but just as hard, Tajima’s grandpa running commentary in the background.

Hanai gets called Azusa-chan and offered onigiri. He calls them Ren, and Takaya, and Kousuke.

“Hanai,” Tajima says when they’re leaving, holding the gate open for the boys and their bikes. “Come again tomorrow.”

Hanai forces out a smile. 

“Sure,” he says. “Thank you for having me, Tajima.”

So Hanai keeps coming back. He practices his pitching a lot, even with Abe, a couple of times, while Mihashi pitches to Tajima. After about a week, Tajima asks him to stay after the others are gone.

“To work on our batting,” he says. 

Hanai stays. Of course he stays.

Tajima offers him a bat and stares at his hands while he takes it.

“You know, Hanai,” Tajima says. “I noticed this a while back, but you grab the bat with your left hand now.”

Hanai blushes, Tajima’s gaze making him feel small even though he’s taller, awkward even if, most of the time, he’s comfortable in his own skin.

(Tajima does that to him, always has, since he was eleven and saw this tiny boy hit a ball and run so fast he could do nothing about it, and later that day, Hanai’s shoulders heavy with loss, when the boy came up to him and said “You were really cool.”)

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Like you.”

Tajima blinks. Then he grins, but it’s different somehow, small and soft, like they share a secret.

 _Oh_.

Maybe they do.

Still, Hanai can’t quite bring himself to say it, so he doesn’t. They practice, the air around them heavy with expectations and words unsaid, and Hanai can barely concentrate.

When he’s leaving, he says “Bye, Tajima,” uneasy and wrong.

Tajima sighs, looks him straight in the eye.

“I already took the initiate too many times, you know,” he says. “If you want something, say it.”

Hanai’s heart beats like a hammer.

“Yuu. Yuu-kun” he says, and proceeds to blush to the tips of his ears. He covers his face with his hands. “This is too weird.”

He sees through his fingers as Tajima nods and tilts his head. He’s blushing, too.

“Then how about Yuuichiro?” he asks. 

“What?”

“Call me Yuuichiro. It’s not weird, right?”

“Yuuichiro,” Hanai says. Tajima hums, pleased, and that is good enough.

“Azusa,” he says.

And it’s so _weird_ , because Hanai doesn’t even like that name, doesn’t even let his mom call him by it, but.

But coming out of Tajima’s mouth, it sounds just right.

They say their goodbyes, properly this time, and Hanai can’t stop smiling for the whole bike ride home.

*

The next morning, he gets to school before anyone else, except—

Tajima is already there.

Hanai locks his bike and jogs to where Tajima is, feeling Tajima’s gaze heavy on him the entire time. He stops when he gets close enough. Tajima’s face is very serious, and Hanai frowns.

Before he can open his mouth to ask what’s wrong, though, Tajima gets on tiptoes and kisses him.

It’s a quick, innocent thing; just a peck, their lips barely touching for more than one second.

It’s enough to make Hanai’s face red, his heart go crazy and his body hot all over.

“What,” he says, covering his mouth with one hand. “Why did you do that?”

Tajima shrugs, like it’s no big deal.

“I like you and I wanted to,” he says, looking into Hanai’s eyes.

But Hanai notices that he’s shaking. Tajima’s face, illuminated by the morning sun, is completely red, his freckles standing out against the color.

In this moment, Hanai’s heart soars, then takes root around this boy, this tiny, brave boy in front of him.

So Hanai drops his left hand from his face and reaches for Tajima’s. The moment their fingers touch, Tajima’s shoulders sag, his whole body sighing with relief.

Tajima’s skin is hot and rough and sweaty, and it’s perfect.

Hanai smiles at him. Tajima smiles right back.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this swag 2016, before reading chapter 126. the lines from richard siken's poem were the prompt
> 
> title from of monsters and men's slow and steady


End file.
